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jnguyen-utk:

I attended my first mass this past Sunday. Crew Polski have talked about going to church since the first weekend we were here and I was pumped to do so since then. I’ve never attended mass or church services of any kind, and after looking into countless cathedrals in the surrounding area, I was glad we settled with St. Mary for our first.
It was the night before Sunday when my friend Tucker and I talked in depth about the history of cathedrals in Europe. I learned about the Catholics and the protestant churches, the messiah and the disciples. I learned that Catholics only go to cathedrals, but that cathedrals are open to everyone. And everyone included me too. I felt assured.
We showed up early and I remember my group hesitating to walk into the nave while the mass before ours was coming to an end. We stood and waited, and maybe I needed that because I was in shock of the interiors, its meticulous details and color palette. The smell, the echo, the hollowness of such a large space, and above at the cross of the transept, Jesus Christ. I thought that by now I’d be accustomed to the scale of the cathedral. I pass by it everyday, looking up as high as the towers could reach from afar. I even stood by the door once and was reminded of how very small I am. But when I stood inside…., I felt almost insignificant. I felt nervous.
I sat at the pew and listened to the priest. He spoke in Polish and it sounded like a hymn. It was loud, yet soft. I remember it to be soothing too, enough to make one feel relaxed but for some reason, I caught myself hunched over multiple times. My chest and stomach pulled back and my chin sat low. I kept my eyes down most of the time, and my hands underneath my scarf. Every now and then, I would glance over to my two friends sitting on either side of me to find comfort, but they seemed almost like strangers to me - as strange as the feelings I felt and the people I shared the space with.
We stood up and we sat down. We kneeled and we mumbled. I was starting to get used to the routine until the lady in front turned around and made eye contact with me. She wore a red hat and had eyes as dark as my hair. Her curls fell lightly from beneath her hat and her face carried deep wrinkles, but soon softened when she smiled at me. I nodded in return and she turned back around to greet another man in front of her. It was the Meet and Greet. I looked further up the nave. Heads were turning everywhere and low muffles swept the cathedral. My attention quickly pulled back to where I sat when my friend Turko pulled out his hand to give me a handshake. I took it happily and felt warmth running through me.
Before the Meet and Greet, it almost seemed as though I was holding my breath the whole time. But afterwards, I felt only greater warmth. The kind that gave me the courage to look further towards the altar and almost directly above me at Jesus Christ. I felt insignificant from the moment I walked in and I can’t say that I felt any different when we walked out, but my eagerness still grows. I want to attend another mass this coming sunday. and the sunday after next. and the sunday after the next sunday. Unsure if what I felt was right, I want to go until I know. Even writing this blog, I am uncertain about my use of terms relating to the religion and cathedral. I hope I used it correctly, though, and maybe after some more Sundays, I’ll become quicker to identifying my feelings and more precise on expressing them through words.
19:35, Mar 4. nowa prowincja [new province], my hub #3. they have coffee here but it’s not quite a coffeeshop because they also have beer and shots on their drink menu. It’s not a pub either because they don’t serve food, only pastries. I don’t know what to call it but it reminds me of the Leaky Cauldron in Harry Potter. I’ll call it the Leaky Cauldron. No. It has a name. I’ll call it Nowa Prowincja.

jnguyen-utk:

17:23, Mar 5. [interior of st. mary cathedral] five zlotys to get in as a visitor, five zlotys to take pictures, and another 5 zlotys for a “homeless” guy asking for food. 15 zlotys total in less than half an hour but it’s probably the best thing I’ve ever done.